Myths about Ministering, Myth 3

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Myths about Ministering, Myth 3: “I don’t know her—how am I supposed to begin this relationship? I feel like I’m imposing on her.”

One thing the Lord wants us to do is to get to know, appreciate, and work with people we might never otherwise meet or spend time with. This is an inspired, ingenious aspect of the Church organization along geographic lines and through callings, rather than completely through choice and affinity–it is part of having “our hearts knit together in unity and love” (Mosiah 18:21). But it is difficult to be asked to contact and develop a relationship with someone you have not met and who may not be inclined to meet you. Yet, we are asked to do exactly that to see that each sister is watched over and cared for through ministering.

It may be comforting to remember that you are not just pushing into this woman’s life: You are on the Lord’s errand. (See “Myths about Ministering, Myth 1” about visiting teaching being more than “assigned friends.”) Here are some practical suggestions for things you can do to get this relationship started:

  • First, pray—that you will develop a greater testimony of ministering; that it will be a good experience for you, your companion, and your sisters; and that the Spirit will be with you all.
  • If you are new to ministering, or you haven’t had good examples, ask the person who gave you the assignment for ideas or resources. You can read about ministering at by typing “ministering” into the search box, reading Handbook 2: Administering the Church, section 9; Daughters in My Kingdom, chapter 7; and Jeffrey R. Holland, “Emissaries to the Church,” October 2016 General Conference (yes, it’s about home teaching, but change that to ministering and it applies). All of these are available on
  • Contact your companion and talk about ministering and when you can contact your sisters (evenings? weekends? weekdays? at church?). (A future “Myth about Ministering” will deal with companionship issues.) If you can’t initially contact your sisters together, you’ll add stars to your heavenly crown (as my aunt used to say) if you volunteer to make the first contact.
  • If possible, you (and your companion) should introduce yourselves to your sisters at Church. You’ll want to check in with her at church meetings and Relief Society activities as often as possible.
  • Soon after your initial contact, call each sister, remind her who you are, and ask her how she wants the ministering relationship to work: Does she want a scheduled visit in her home? Would she prefer regular or occasional calls or texts?

Finding inspired answers to such questions and using all available methods for making contact with those they are assigned is central to inspired ministering. To provide Christlike service, ministering brothers and sisters cannot rely on routine visits or predetermined messages; they seek inspiration and counsel with family members to best care for those to whom they are assigned—using the time and resources they have.–“How is Ministering Led By the Spirit?” Frequently Asked Question 12, Ministering, at

  • If you weren’t able to introduce yourself at Church, you may have to call a sister without meeting her first. This is a hard thing to do, but we can do hard things. If a sister is impossible to contact or visit (for example, her contact information on is wrong, or she seems impossible to find), notify the person who gave you the assignment as soon as possible.
  • Try to have at least one face-to-face contact (and, we hope, many more). This could be a very brief drop-in visit at a sister’s door if all attempts to make other contact have failed. Ask each sister if she would like to be contacted by phone, text, or email, and double-check her contact information. Some sisters can’t or won’t be able to visit in their homes; you could invite a sister to meet at a park or restaurant or to go for a walk, or plan to contact her at Church. Take her a card with your names and contact information.
  • Some reasons to contact a sister, even if your relationship is new: for her birthday (on or ask a member of the Relief Society presidency to find out), Christmas, other holidays; when you like something she posts on social media (search her name to find her); to remind her of upcoming events, such as General Conference women’s session and other general, stake, or regional meetings, or to remind her of Relief Society weekday or evening activities. Consider offering her a ride or arranging to meet her there.


As a ministering sister, you are the Lord’s representative to your sisters, as much as a missionary, a bishop, or a Relief Society president. This one-to-one stewardship is a reflection of the way Jesus Christ cares for, atones for, and blesses each of us (see 3 Nephi 17). Consider His words–each tailored to a specific need–and some variations on them:

For I was an hungred, and ye gave me meat: I was thirsty, and ye gave me drink: I was a stranger, and ye took me in:
Naked, and ye clothed me: I was sick, and ye visited me: I was in prison, and ye came unto me. (Matthew 25:35–36.)

For I was new in the ward, and you welcomed me;
Busy, and you worked around my schedule;
Shared with you, and you respected my confidence;
Lonely, and you visited me;
Discouraged, and you gave me hope;
Needed help, and you helped me.
My house was a mess, my dog jumped on you, and my children were out of control, but you kept coming back.
We didn’t seem to have anything in common, but you kept trying.
And I’ll always remember you.

Therefore, dearly beloved [sisters], let us cheerfully do all things that lie in our power; and then may we stand still, with the utmost assurance, to see the salvation of God, and for his arm to be revealed (D&C 123:17).

Edited and revised 4 August 2018.

Myths about Ministering, Myth 2

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Myth 2: “Ministering isn’t as important as my other callings or priorities.”

We must prioritize things in our lives. And we have Church callings, other than ministering, that are obvious and demanding places to spend our time. But it’s easy to let the days go by, responding to immediate needs and deadlines, and forgetting about ministering. Before we know it, weeks or months have gone by and we still haven’t contacted the sisters to whom we are assigned to minister.

One way to keep ministering in our minds is to pray each day, by name, for the sisters we minister to and for our companion. Ministering contacts often take only moments, such as sending an email or text to a sister, if we have an established relationship with her so she knows who we are and feels our concern. Nevertheless, as with parenting, there can be a connection between a quantity of ministering time and the quality of the ministering relationship.

The importance of ministering relative to other callings and demands on our time is a part of our personal testimony. Because ministering callings are often extended somewhat informally by a member of the Relief Society presidency  they can seem less important than the callings extended by a member of the bishopric. But we must be careful not to dismiss a prophetic request just because it is delivered by a messenger we didn’t expect (as did Naaman the Syrian in 2 Kings 5). And consider this story:

LDS counselor and therapist Wendy Ulrich describes a new stake president who worked for some time to learn what he should emphasize in his stake. In the temple, he gained a vision of his stake in which children would be nurtured, youth would be confident in their gospel journey, and adults would joyfully and thankfully “be yoked with Jesus Christ to bear the burdens of the kingdom.” The stake president came to understand that the way to implement this happy vision was through home and visiting teaching (now called “ministering”). Ulrich continues:

He is not the only inspired leader to come to that conclusion. Going as healers and messengers to one another, [ministering brothers and sisters] were to bless each member’s life, temporally and spiritually, one person at a time. They were to become conduits of a mighty river of love that would reach into every home of the stake. That river is reminiscent of the one described in Ezekiel and John the Revelator’s visions. The river of living water comes out from the altars of the temple to heal a dying world.

Wendy Ulrich, The Temple Experience: Passage to Healing and Holiness (Springville, UT: CFI, 2012) 158–60 (see Ezekiel 47:1–12; Revelation 7:17).

Ministering sisters can be the Lord’s first responders, His eyes, ears, and hands. The bishop and the Relief Society president certainly can sleep better if they know that the sisters of the ward, knit together in love through the fabric of ministering (see Colossians 2:2; Mosiah 18:21), are the “agents in place” who watch over one another and create the relationships they wish they could have with each sister—because that’s impossible for either of them to do without help. With the increasing number of adult sisters who live alone, or who are parenting alone, the ministering sisters are essential to the unity and love within a ward. Ministering is the Lord’s plan to ensure that each of His daughters feels that she has sisters who care for her.

Ministering is crucial. President Gordon B. Hinckley said,

No calling in this church is small or of little consequence. All of us in the pursuit of our duty touch the lives of others. To each of us in our respective responsibilities the Lord has said: ‘Wherefore, be faithful; stand in the office which I have appointed unto you; succor the weak, lift up the hands which hang down, and strengthen the feeble knees’ (D&C 81:5).

Gordon B. Hinckley, “This Is the Work of the Master,” Ensign, May 1995, 71.

Edited and updated, 4 August 2018.


Poem: On Admission to the Bar


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It’s that time of year again, when after a grueling summer of study and anxiety, law school graduates are learning that they’ve passed the bar exam. I wrote this poem in 1980, when I learned I had passed the Arizona bar exam and would soon be licensed to practice law. I was relieved and humbled.

On Admission to the Bar

The field of Justice has become my ground,
and some name me as an adversary.
But I have adversaries of my own,
and I ask to appear, for my own sake,
in Mercy’s court. Yet not for my own sake—
dear Lord, be there for my sake, take my case.
I bluster brave before the earthly bar
but cannot practice in the highest court.
Still I need Thee to be my Advocate.


–Lisa Bolin Hawkins

published in the April 1984 Ensign

Myths about Ministering, Myth 1

Visiting teaching

Ministering (formerly called “visiting teaching”) is the Lord’s program in The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints to ensure that every woman in the Church is cared for, contacted as needed,  and has at least two other sisters praying for her, to whom she can turn in a time of need. Yet we sometimes struggle with this essential calling. As Elder Jeffrey R. Holland of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles has said of the similar ministering (formerly called “home teaching”) program, in which the men of the Church are called to contact and watch over each family:

[M]ay we briefly examine the . . . duty that has been described as “the Church’s first source of help” to its individuals and families. Entire forests have been sacrificed providing the paper to organize it and then reorganize it. A thousand pep talks have been given trying to encourage it. Certainly no Freudian travel agency anywhere could possibly arrange the number of guilt trips this subject has provoked. Yet still we struggle to achieve anywhere near an acceptable standard of performance regarding the Lord’s commandment “to watch over the church always” . . . . (Jeffrey R. Holland, “Emissaries to the Church,” Ensign, October 2016, references omitted, available on

As a longtime visiting teacher and ministering sister (going on 46 years now) who has not always had a perfect record or a perfect attitude about it, I have discovered some things that sisters say to themselves that can get in the way of completing this essential assignment. Here’s the first one:

Myth 1: “Ministering is just ‘assigned friends’; I don’t want to push into someone’s life and pretend to be her friend.”

Ministering is, in a way, an assignment to be a friend, if possible—but it is so much more than that. This is not just a social relationship, nor are we expected to “pretend” anything. The Church Handbook on Administering the Church, at section 9, available at, describes the responsibility of visiting teachers (now ministering sisters) as follows:

Visiting teachers [ministering sisters] sincerely come to know and love each sister, help her strengthen her faith, and give service. They seek personal inspiration to know how to respond to the spiritual and temporal needs of each sister [to whom they minister].
Taking into account each sister’s individual needs and circumstances, [ministering sisters] have regular contact . . . with those they are assigned. When a personal visit is not possible, [ministering sisters] may use phone calls, letters, e-mail, or other means to watch over and strengthen sisters. . . .
[Ministering sisters] give compassionate service during times of illness, death, and other special circumstances. They assist the Relief Society president in coordinating short-term and long-term assistance when invited.

That sounds like a responsibility that is not exactly the same as friendship, or an assignment to be someone’s friend. The definition of friendship can vary depending on the people involved. The definition of ministering has been set, as above and on under “Ministering,” by prophets of the Lord. It is to be hoped that the sisters we teach will come to see us as friends. Meanwhile, we are the Lord’s representatives to them. The Lord, the bishop, and the Relief Society president need our hearts and hands to serve, teach, and minister to our sisters, and to recognize their special circumstances. Ministering is the organization the Lord has created to watch over each sister in the Relief Society. And we may find ourselves becoming a friend to our companion and the sisters we teach—if so, that’s a special bonus!

Edited 4 August 2018.

Poem: Voices from the (Household) Dust

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Voices from the (Household) Dust

These are the crumbs of our civilization,
Smudges of our day-to-day world—
Witnesses whisper from bookshelves,
Cling to electronic screens,
Peek from window blinds.
Someday we’ll clean them away—
Microfibered memories.

Come take a tour before they’re gone:
Cup rings on tables circle our laughter,
Kiss remnants pucker Grandma’s photo glass,
Carpet dents shape repeated knees,
Bedsheets crumple slumber, sickness, love.
Counters wreathe garlands of mismeasured flour,
Petals remember a Valentine rose,
Tears spill everywhere—angry, sad, joyful;
Aromas waft—Sunday dinner, apple pie, bubble bath.

Before they are lost,
Listen to the voices from our dust—
We’ll whisper more tomorrow, and forever.

–Lisa Bolin Hawkins

Reviews of Three 2017 Utah Shakespeare Festival Plays

Viola and Nurse

Photo: Viola and her Nurse (Betsy Mugavero and Leslie Brott) from Shakespeare in Love

These are the three plays we saw this year at the Utah Shakespeare Festival–next year, we hope to see five! Two winners and a shockingly big loser; never disappointed in a play at this festival before now, and we’ve attended for years! But my hopes are high for the future of excellent plays at this professional theatre.

  • Shakespeare in Love, based on the screenplay by Marc Norman and Tom Stoppard; adapted for the stage by Lee Hall, directed by Brian Vaughn. This love letter to all things Shakespeare is a lovely story and production, with romance, tragedy, and comedy in a satisfying mix. Quinn Mattfeld and Betsy Mugavero are perfect as struggling playwright Will Shakespeare and his muse, and aspiring actor (women were not allowed on stage in Elizabethan England), Viola de Lesseps. Will is working on his next play, Romeo and Ethel the Pirate’s Daughter, but he is not having any success until he meets Viola, who is disguised as a young man so she can audition for the play. Many additional characters add to the fun. Shakespeare in Love is full of clever references to Shakespeare’s plays. The play pretty much tracks the 1998 Best Picture Academy Award-winning film, but the stage production is well worth seeing. It mostly glosses over the fact that Shakespeare was married (a cold and loveless marriage entered too young, according to the play–but that doesn’t justify his behavior)  and the playgoer will have to suspend judgment on that for best enjoyment of the play. The production is especially effective because it is presented in the Globe Theatre-like Engelstad Shakespeare Theatre. I drifted out of the theatre in a delighted haze. This is a must-see at the 2017 Shakespeare Festival and could become a popular, repeated feature of the event.
  • Guys and Dolls, based on stories and characters by Damon Runyon, music and lyrics by Fran Loesser, book by Jo Swerling and Abe Burrows, directed by Peter Rothstein. Styled “a musical fable of Broadway,” this 1950 Broadway hit has become a classic of the American musical stage with the stories of gambler Sky Masterson, Salvation Army-like missionary Sarah Brown, gambler Nathan Detroit, and his long-suffering fiancée, Miss Adelaide. The Damon Runyon characters are a lot of fun and the music and dancing are great. Melinda Parrett is a standout as Miss Adelaide and Quinn Mattfeld as Nathan Detroit seems almost to have to restrain himself from stealing the show. Brian Vaughn is good as usual, although his portrayal of Sky Masterson is avuncular, without the dangerous edge and passion that seem to be a part of the character. A worthwhile and enjoyable show.
  • William Shakespeare’s Long Lost First Play (Abridged), by Reed Martin and Austin Tichenor, directed by Christopher Edwards, is the worst play I have ever seen, unfortunately, and I’m stunned that it was chosen for the festival. I say this not to be unkind, but to try to save theatre-goers from wasting their time and money. The production is fine–acting (three young men play all the parts), lighting, costumes, and overall staging are well done. It’s the play that’s the problem. I got all the humor and allusions; I know Shakespeare included elements of bawdy and farce in his plays, but this play is all bawdy and farce and no plot and no nobility or progress of characters, as Shakespeare included in all his plays. The playwrights need look only across the festival to Shakespeare in Love to see how this can be accomplished. The play in question centers around a supposed feud between Ariel (of The Tempest) and Puck (of A Midsummer Night’s Dream) and goes on to introduce some of the Bard’s many characters in mixed-up circumstances. There are some clever comparisons of Shakespeare’s canon with the Disney’s work. Some of the meet-ups, such as the ever-indecisive Hamlet with the ever-decisive Lady Macbeth, are really a good idea. But many other audience members seemed as uncomfortable/bored/waiting-for-this-to-get-good as I was. Shakespeare appears at the end of the play as a self-proclaimed deus ex machina, and announces that the play is awful and should never be produced. Someone should have listened.

Remember, My Child—-Souviens-Toi

Souviens-Toi is a beautiful hymn in the LDS French hymnbook, with the melody based on Dvorak’s New World Symphony. My son was recently called to be the choir director in his Denver ward, and asked if I would translate the hymn into English. Several drafts and sixteen rhyming couplets later, this is what I came up with–it was an inspiring experience:

Remember, My Child

Based on the French hymn, Souviens-toi, melody from the New World Symphony by Antonin Dvorak; lyrics by the Comité linguistique français de l’Eglise de Jesus-Christ des Saints des Derniers Jours. Lyrics translated from the French by Lisa Bolin Hawkins.

Verse 1: What do you remember, child, of life before this earth—
When you were a spirit-child before your mortal birth?
Heavenly Parents held you near, not that long ago;
Your eyes still reflect the light from our first holy home.
Search your spirit’s memories, before the light grows dim;
Store those visions in your heart while the veil is thin.

Verse 2: Tell me of that blessed place, what do you recall?
Forests, gardens, brooks, and fields? Bright celestial halls?
Rivers falling to the sea; shores where breezes blow?
Flowers like soft jewels in the woods; mountains white with snow?
Is the sunset rosy grey, lighting gates like pearls?
Do lamps beckon travelers home to that forgotten world?

Verse 3: Now do you remember, child, when we lived as friends?
Where we learned our Savior’s plan: love that shall not end—
Justice satisfied through grace; mercy lights the way;
We will work to learn His laws; we gratefully obey.
There, before the dawn of time, we accepted Him,
Someday, reunited, we will raise our grateful hymn.

Coda: Souviens-toi, mon enfant
What do you remember, child?
Always remember Him.

Here’s the original French:


Souviens-toi, mon enfant: Tes parents divins
te serraient dans leurs bras, ce temps n’est pas loin.
Aujourd’hui, tu es là, présent merveilleux,
ton regard brille encore du reflet des cieux.
Parle-moi, mon enfant, de ces lieux bénis
car pour toi est léger le voile d’oubli.

Souviens-toi, mon enfant des bois, des cités.
Pouvons-nous ici-bas les imaginer?
Et le ciel jusqu’au soir, est-il rose ou gris ?
Le soleil attend-il la neige ou la pluie?
Conte-moi, mon enfant, la couleur des prés
et le chant des oiseaux d’un monde oublié.

Souviens-toi, mon enfant : A l’aube des temps,
nous étions des amis jouant dans le vent.
Puis un jour, dans la joie nous avons choisi
d’accepter du Seigneur le grand plan de vie.
Ce soir-là, mon enfant, nous avons promis
par l’amour, par la foi, d’être réunis.

Small Observations, Wondrous World

Whatever you can do, or dream you can, begin it

–boldness has genius, power, and magic in it.–Goethe

Write something–add a small observation about your world.–Atul Gawande

Here we begin some small observations about my world, all in the spirit of sisterly kindness and encouragement. I don’t claim genius, power, or magic at this point (sorry, Goethe), but I begin with what you might call tentative boldness–join me on the journey as we explore together! As we read and think about what our dreams are, we can not only experience life twice through writing, as Anaïs Nin suggested, but also have a vision of hope as we press forward with steadfast faith.